read more | digg story

read more | digg story

read more | digg story

read more | digg story

Anyway, I know that I haven’t been updating this site very often, but I have been busy.  However if you know me at all I did finally join facebook, but do expect too much activity from me, that bloody site is very addictive.

But now back to vancouver, I have added some pictures from my trip and more will be there next week.

George Carlin’s new rules for ‘07

New Rule:

Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There’s a reason
you don’t talk to people for 25 years. Because you don’t
particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of
the football team is doing these days . . . he’s mowing my lawn.

New Rule:

Don’t eat anything that’s served to you out a window unless you’re a
seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found
in a bowl of Wendy’s chilli. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What
did you expect it to contain? Trout?

New Rule:

Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde
teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for
these kids:lucky bastards.

New Rule:

If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you’re a
dope. If you’re a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If
you’re a grown man, they’re pictures of men.

New Rule:

Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here’s how much men care about
your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we’re done.

New Rule:

There’s no such thing as flavored water. There’s a whole aisle of
this crap at the supermarket; water, but without that watery taste.
Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored
water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That’s your
flavored water.

New Rule:

Stop screwing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned
pill bottle that’s square, with a bigger label. And the top is now
the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his
ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved
the Social Security crisis.

New Rule:

The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If
you walk into a Starbucks and order a “decaf grande half-soy,
half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino,
extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n’-Low, and one NutraSweet,”
ooh, you’re a huge asshole.

New Rule:

I’m not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card,
entering my PIN number, pressing “Enter,” verifying the amount,
deciding, no, I don’t want cash back, and pressing “Enter” again,
the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating
my Almond Joy.

New Rule:

Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn’t make
you spiritual. It’s right above the crack of your ass. And it
translates to “beef with broccoli.” The last time you did anything
spiritual, you were praying to God you weren’t pregnant. You’re not
spiritual. You’re just high.

New Rule:

Competitive eating isn’t a sport. It’s one of the seven deadly sins.
ESPN recently televised the U. S. Open of Competitive Eating,
because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too
damned exciting. What’s next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They’re
already doing that. It’s called “The Howard Stern Show.”

New Rule:

I don’t need a bigger mega M&Ms. If I’m extra hungry for M&Ms, I’ll
go nuts and eat two.

New Rule:

If you’re going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old
television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a
remote so we can see what’s playing on the other screens. Let’s
remember the reason something was a television show in the first
place is that the idea wasn’t good enough to be a movie.

New Rule:

No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings.
Now it’s for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab.
Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for
you isn’t gift giving; it’s the white people version of looting.

New Rule:

And this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I
zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had
sex with George Michael. I can’t even tell if he’s supposed to be
there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don’t want to be on your
web cam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.

New Rule:

When I ask how old your toddler is, I don’t need to know in months.
“27 Months.” “He’s two,” will do just fine. He’s not a cheese. And I
didn’t really care in the first place.

New Rule:

If you ever hope to be a credible adult and want a job that pays
better than minimum wage, then for God’s sake don’t pierce or tattoo
every available piece of flesh. If so, then plan your future around
saying” Do you want fries with that?”

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Anyway, I ordered a new book today so I guess when I get that I will be doing more with it.  Anyway, it is just a pastime so I guess if I have no time to pass I shouldn’t be too worried about it.