An English professor announced to the class; “There are two words I don’t allow in my class. One is gross and the other is cool.”
From the back of the room a voice called out, “So, what are the words?”
The Sunday before Christmas, a pastor told his congregation that the church needed some extra money. He asked the people to consider donating a little more than usual into the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.
After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had placed a $1,000 bill in offering.
He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation and said he’d like to personally thank the person who placed the money in the plate. A very quiet, elderly, saintly looking lady all the way in the back shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come to the front.
Slowly she made her way to the pastor. He told her how wonderful it was that she gave so much and in thanks asked her to pick out three hymns.
Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, pointed to the three most handsome men in the building and said, “I’ll take him and him and him.”
This an amazing picture of a plane getting hit by lightning. I know that this doesn’t look like much, but just click the picture and you will see what I mean.
If you want to see where I got the original picture from Click Here
This poor kid, I wonder if they ever went near water again?
Well I do think it is funny how ever.
Original Site
On a special Teacher’s Day, a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.
The florist’s son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it over her head, and said, “I bet I know what it is….some flowers.”
“That’s right!” said the boy. “But how did you know?”
“Just a wild guess,” she said.
The next pupil was the candy store owner’s daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, “I bet I can guess that it is…a box of candy.”
“That’s right! But how did you know?” asked the girl.
“Just a lucky guess,” said the teacher.
The next gift was from the liquor store owner’s son. The teacher held it over her head but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and tasted it.
“Is it wine?” she asked.
“No,” the boy replied. The teacher repeated the process, touching another drop of the leakage to her tongue.
“Is it champagne?” she asked.
“No,” the boy replied.
The teacher then said, “I give up, what is it?”
The boy replied, “A puppy!”